Being Fast

I grew up in the Baptist church (I'll pause for your gasps here)...

Not Southern Baptist, however. It was a small church in SouthWest Michigan - Woodland Shores. A sweet, small, family church where everyone knew everybody else. And for the most part, if you didn't attend Woodland Shores, you attended one of the 2 Catholic churches in town.

For it being a town where the average graduating class was 70 students, that's a lot of church.

I loved our church. I loved the family aspect, the Christmas Cantatas, the ladies softball team my mom played on, youth group, and a feeling of pride whenever I walked the halls or visited during coffee break (between service and Sunday school). Pride, in an 11 year old, when I stood on the stage as a bridesmaid for my mom's wedding. Pride, when I took vows with my stepdad, standing next to my little sister in matching pink dresses with puffy sleeves and bows & vine & floral wreaths on our heads. And love - love for a building I grew up with and a dream to someday be married there myself.

At this point, we all know I didn't get married in that church. I got married in a white tent in the pouring rain, in the backyard of some wonderful friends in the Lonestar State. But that's not relevant.

When I was in 8th grade, we moved out of that little town. I'd been attending that church since I could remember. All my friends had been my friends since we were in Mrs Z's preschool class together at age 3. It was a tough time, leaving all I loved behind. But I did. And it stank.

One reason it was so stinky was because once we moved to Milford, I became a spec of algae in the ocean vs having been a big ol' fish in someone's kiddy pool. There were 3 high schools in town instead of just 1 and there would come to be over 400 in my graduating class.

My mom was heartbroken after losing a church family that so openly accepted us for who we were and loved us unconditionally. In the 6 years my family lived in Milford, we never found a church we could call home.

All I ever knew was the religion I'd grown up with. I would sometimes go to church with a couple friends in college but it just never seemed right. While I was living on campus, I worked at the front desk and remember one certain Ash Wednesday telling someone they had a smudge on their forehead. They looked at me like I was an idiot (which I was, having not known really ANYTHING about Catholicism) and said "it's Ash Wednesday". I kept silent until I could get back to my room and figure out what that even meant.

In our church, we didn't talk about fasting. We didn't give anything up for Lent. I remember having a slumber party one weekend - my stepdad made tacos for dinner for me & my girlfriends. My friend Blair couldn't eat the meat and it wasn't until I was MUCH older that I learned why.

When I came to Texas, I hung around with my parents at a small church they found and even though it wasn't the perfect fit for me (there was, very truly, NO ONE my age who attended said church), it helped me find my way back.

And it wasn't until Calvin that I even heard the words "Church of Christ". This is also NOT an exaggeration. I was familiar with Baptists, Catholics, Episcopalians (my college roommate was one!), Jehovah's Witnesses, and a small number of other denominations but I had certainly never heard CoC.

My first visit to The Hills (what was then RHCC) seemed like a homecoming. People were friendly. The music was wonderful. We stood to sing and pray. I could take communion. Not to mention, it was the holiday season so having candles lit & a stage covered in poinsettias totally set the tone for me. And there were people my age - LOTS OF THEM!! It was wonderful.

A couple months later, Calvin talked about giving something up for Lent. I didn't participate that year (I was still living in Houston and still didn't totally understand the concept) but it gave me a first taste of what it meant to fast.

While it's not typical practice for CoC to participate in Lent, it is a valuable lesson to learn. For example, I gave up chocolate last year. Sure, it seems trivial but when you eat chocolate like I do, it's not a bad idea to give it up for a good 40 days. The year before I gave up sweets/baked goods and ohmygoodness, that was tough.

This year, I've opted for something less food-related. I choose to give up two time-wasting websites: Pinterest & Polyvore. I also gave up daytime TV (during the work-week). So far, so good. I miss Pinterest most of all but it has proven better for my work attitude to not waste so much lunch break time and it has proven better for my marriage to spend less time glued to my laptop in the evenings. The TV was becoming a distraction because I would turn it on to eat lunch and fail to turn it off until bedtime. I'm hoping the TV will become more of a habit - I don't let myself turn it on until 5pm. I honestly don't miss it because there's really nothing worth watching during the day anyway.

But I sure do miss Pinterest. I miss the recipes. I miss the exploration. I miss the craft ideas - especially since I get daily reminders from Jo-Ann's (via FB & Twitter) that March is craft month (convenient that I gave my crafty inspiration up during craft month).

HOWEVER... this is the lesson being learned - sometimes it's better to pull away from the computer (I realize the irony as I'm sitting here blogging) and engage in my own kitchen creativity or a conversation with my husband vs a quick turn of the computer screen and a "look how cute this is!" while he's absorbed in his XBOX 360 Master Scrolls game (side note: he gave up XBOX for Lent... we've been spending a lot more time together).

I speak to my mom on the phone more. We take the dogs for walks. The TV gets turned off and we do our devo. My kitchen is clean. The laundry gets done. It's just amazing.

I realize the season of Lent is to recognize sacrifice and gain a better understanding of what Jesus did for us. While subtracting chocolate and Pinterest doesn't quite measure up, I'm thankful for the opportunity to realize how much better my life can be - how much better my marriage can be - by choosing the ones I love over the things I love. This year's fast has had the most impact so far... hopefully it will be a reminder in years to come of what LOVE truly is.